Without fear: Dispatch from Fuzzy Needle
Greetings Fuzzy Needle friends,
Howdy. When is the last time you went on a road trip? Not a jaunt to Raleigh, but a long, lonesome drive through deeply unfamiliar lands. I’ll go first: if all goes well and I turn this draft in on time, I’ll be road tripping right now. Let’s see, if you’re reading this round 12 noon EST on Wednesday, I’ll hopefully be about a hundred miles west of Shreveport, already mourning the end of my time in Texas. The lands won’t be entirely unfamiliar — I’ll basically be staying with the same friends I stayed with on the way to Arizona — but it will still feel foreign to me.
I love road trips. I love solo road trips. Most people seem to be scared of, or at least sensibly apprehensive about, solo travel. I believe it’s one of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves. You can do literally ANYTHING you want: stop, go, pee, not pee, buy cigarettes, eat frybread, put on loud music… Is it scary at first? Sure. Not just the prospect of a tire popping or getting lost, but the indignities of appearing alone. The idea of eating by yourself in a restaurant, for example. But after enough practice, you realize it’s hardly an indignity at all — if anything, it’s better than going with friends or family. No need to talk, to entertain. You can just exist. You can let your eyes meander through the room, rest on the TV for a moment, then on the shelves of liquor behind the bar, then on the cowboys speaking Cajun French in the corner.
Of course, I find it a lot easier to solo travel as a man than I did when I was a woman. Here’s a quote from Sylvia Plath:
“Yes, my consuming desire is to mingle with road crews, sailors and soldiers, barroom regulars — to be a part of a scene, anonymous, listening, recording — all this is spoiled by the fact that I am a girl, a female always supposedly in danger of assault and battery. My consuming interest in men and their lives is often misconstrued as a desire to seduce them, or as an invitation to intimacy. Yes, God, I want to talk to everybody as deeply as I can. I want to be able to sleep in an open field, to travel west, to walk freely at night...”
When I presented as a woman, I often felt that being a woman (i.e., being a sight rather than a seer) truncated my experience of the world. Much of that, I simply couldn’t help. I couldn’t control other people’s misogyny. But I think my mistake was wholly giving into it: telling myself, “There’s no use in even trying to do [xyz], I’ll just be putting myself in danger.”
I got more courageous as I medically transitioned. I also met this photographer named Carmen. We grew up in the same county, we’re both trans, and we both have a deep, abiding love for the rural United States. What fascinated me about the doll was that she would regularly (and still regularly!) goes on long road trips through the United States to take photos. Alone. Through FLORIDA! How fierce is that?
I am far from the authority on danger. But having (hopefully, by now) driven through the most remote regions of Texas twice now — along the way using the men’s restroom, chatting amiably with travellers who have TPUSA stickers on their trucks, ignoring is-that-a-woman-or-a-man stares — I can say, fuck that mindset. Transphobes and misogynists and other bigots can hurt us, for sure. I still honor that spook alarm I have as a trans man; sometimes, you know a certain gas station or rest stop is just not gonna be safe, and have to keep driving. But why do the bigots’ job for them by staying off the road entirely? Why abridge our own freedoms just because we might run across those jackasses?
I’m grateful that I met Carmen, and got this beautiful little Honda Civic, and that I’m a man, and that I got to see a fraction of the wild, desolate beauty that makes up this deeply flawed country. It has made me richer beyond compare. I hope you, too, get to experience it — without fear.
Q & A with Caspian Hollywell of Twisted Teens
Fuzzy Needle Industries has been closely following the advent and subsequent proliferation of of pedal-steel-plus-fuzz-pedal alt rock. We love that sound, and we know many of you do, too. To this writer, it almost feels like (and I mean this with deep reverence for the genre) easy listening music at this point: go to a kickback, and someone’s playing Lenderman, and everyone can get down with it immediately.
Twisted Teens is far from easy listening. Yes, those guys (“The Razor” Ramone on steelie, Caspian Hollywell on vox and other instruments, plus various collaborators) operate from a similar milieu, but their songwriting is knotty, thorny, more rabid garage rock than lakeside music. To me, it embodies the Southern alt rock tradition: profoundly creative, nice’n’rough, outsider in every sense of the word.
And their complexity has only made them more popular. They released a kooky bananas good EP called Blame the Clown in February, and they’re opening for the Breeders in August. But before that, they’re coming to Fuzzy in Durham. I got up with Caspian recently: here is our interview, which has been lightly edited for clarity.
Caspian Hollywell
Nikolai Mather: I was talking to a journalist buddy of mine recently, and he said that the future of country + rock’n’roll lies in North Carolina and Louisiana. Y’all are based in New Orleans, and you’ve toured the U.S. pretty extensively — what do you think? Are there any other local country/rock scenes you find really exciting?
Caspian Hollywell: As far as local scenes right, now I’m most interested in the Chicago/Cincinnati scene. I love Good Flying Birds, Sharp Pins, Joe Glass and Artificial Go. We also got to keep an eye on Australia cuz Tee Vee Repairman, Split System and R.M.F.C. are incredible.
As far as country/roots, it’s us in New Orleans, since we got the Deslondes and the Lostines down the block from us, then Sally Baby and Johanna Rose on the other side of the bridge. And a million others.
NM: I love the Deslondes — been listening to a lot of Esther Rose recently too.
CH: Oh yeah, we played with her in Bavaria.
NM: You just released Blame the Clown, your third project, back in February. What did you like most about making this record? Any new challenges this time?
CH: There weren't any challenges making the record cuz we don't have a writing or rehearsal process. Actually I barely have to do anything because the goddess does it all. The only time I have to step in is when I question things or misinterpret what she tells me, so then I have to go use my own powers to fix the problem. While i'm pretty good at music, I'll never be as powerful as Sophia so if there's an issue with the music it's because I only had my own power to work with.
[Ed. note: I asked Caspian later who Sophia was, and he said: “She’s the goddess? The feminine expression? Yin principle? The muse? And by following her we bring balance to the collective unconscious which has been taken over by that old billy goat Yahweh and his cycles of arbitrary punishment and ego.”]
NM: You’ve shared a bill with some big names in indie rock: Pavement, Kurt Vile and the Violators, and most recently the Breeders, who you’re opening for in August. Any other bands on your bucket list? Who would you most like to share a stage with?
CH: My dream would be to open for the Breeders so now I'm left with the question of what to do after that. I think it would be to open for Kevin Gates or NBA Youngboy, the greatest living stars that Louisiana has created in my lifetime.
NM: Yupp. Any parting thoughts?
CH: I don't know anything about the show so it's hard for me to share facts about it. But the Twisted Teens is very fun live, so it's a good opportunity to come experience cheap healing through dance. Our music exists to restore your confidence, since it's likely been severely wounded by the capitalist mind control system.
Twisted Teens will be performing at Fuzzy Needle in Durham on May 4th. Doors 7:30, show at 8. Tickets are $15 and will only be available at the door. More info here.
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Shop recs
〰️ Shop recs
Wilmington
Durham
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Upcoming events
〰️ Upcoming events
Durham
May 2, Hiss Golden Messenger, Fuzzy Needle, 1 pm… We’re throwing a pizza party to celebrate the release of Hiss Golden Messenger’s new record. More info here.
May 4, Twisted Teens, Fuzzy Needle, 7:30 pm… You already know what’s up. All that’s left to do is go. More info here.
May 5, Jason Calhoun w/ Adelyn Strei, Alli Blois and the Sleeping Hearts, 7:30 pm… A stacked lineup for all the real country kids. More info here.
You can also see Durham’s full May schedule here.
Wilmington
May 8, Pause for Poetry with Speak Ya Peace NC, Fuzzy Needle, 6:30 pm… We had a ball with Speak Ya Peace at our last open mic night, so we decided to schedule another one. Tickets $10. BYOB. More info here.
May 15, Turkey Buzzards record release show, Fuzzy Needle, 7 pm… We’re super stoked for this one. Get your tickets and more info here.
May 22, Hiding Places, Fuzzy Needle, 7 pm… Have you listened to the new album yet? Get your tickets here.
Postscript
I made some playlists for my road trips — you can listen to NC-AZ here and AZ-NC here. I won’t make any excuses for the North West song. Road brain does it to a man.
Jacob over at Fuzzy Needle Durham wanted to shout out Chaz and Bull City Records, which closed down on Sunday after two illustrious decades. Bull City was one of the first record stores I ever went to, and I think I speak for us all when I say we’re gonna miss that shop.
As always, you can check out our stuff on Discogs and eBay. See you at the shop.
- Your friends at the Fuzzy Needle
